


Facade

by kiyala



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Getting Together, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 16:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6247234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyala/pseuds/kiyala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Kyoutani snorts. "I'm not an idiot, okay? I know you're not going to date me. You care way too much about what people think. Can't have me screwing that up for you."</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	Facade

**Author's Note:**

> written for the prompt _things you said that I wish you hadn't_.

Becoming captain of the team once the third years retire means that things are going to change in Yahaba's life, and he's prepared for it. He's already accepted the fact that he's going to be much busier because of it, and it's going to be demanding to maintain his grades on top of managing his duties. He told Oikawa as much when accepting the captaincy, and none of that has come as a surprise.

What he _doesn't_ anticipate is the sudden spike in popularity, just for being captain, for being Oikawa's successor. He's surprised at just how many people know his name, and how many of them stop to acknowledge him as they pass him in the hallways. By the time Yahaba begins third year, he thinks he's used to it. He's gotten better at having friendly chats with people when they approach him, and he's certain that dealing with the new first years in the club has made him better at dealing with people in general. He doesn't expect that to make him significantly more popular with the girls in his grade, and it might not be anything close to what Oikawa had, but it's still unusual, and a little overwhelming.

He gets his first confession a day after the team wins a practice match against a nearby school. He's walking out of the club room one afternoon to find a girl in his class standing there, waiting for him. 

Himura is quiet and pretty, with her black hair pulled back into a short ponytail. She's blushing as she asks to speak to him, fingers twisting nervously with each other.

"I like you," she tells him, looking directly into his eyes. "I know we don't really talk much, and I'm not expecting you to like me back. I just wanted to tell you. I like how kind and approachable you are."

Yahaba feels his face growing warm, and he struggles to figure out what to say. "Thank you. Sorry, I'm not—I think you're a nice person—"

"It's okay," Himura says, laughing softly even though Yahaba can see the disappointment in her eyes. "Like I said, I just wanted to tell you. That's all."

He stands there, watching her walk away, and jumps when he hears someone clear their throat behind him.

It's Kyoutani, bag slung over his shoulder, hands in his pockets. He raises an eyebrow, nodding in the direction of Himura's retreating back.

Yahaba looks away, holding onto his bag strap, his fingers digging into the material. "Himura's in my class. She's smart and caring, but…"

Kyoutani snorts quietly, brushing past Yahaba. "You should've just gone out with her."

Yahaba freezes up, frowning. "What?"

With a shrug, Kyoutani keeps walking. "Are we studying or not?"

Blinking with surprise, Yahaba clears his throat and catches up with Kyoutani. "Uh. Yeah."

On Wednesdays and Thursdays, they study at Yahaba's place after practice. Kyoutani is better than Yahaba at most of their subjects except for the sciences, so they help each other with their work. Yahaba's father doesn't get home from work until late, and his mother goes to visit his aunt and grandmother, so she isn't home either. In theory, it gives them plenty of time to work without interruption. In practice, it means that their study sessions inevitably turn into making out sessions instead, when they've done enough work that they don't feel guilty for ignoring the rest of it. It's become a regular thing, and they might not talk about it, but Yahaba still thought that it meant _something_. Clearly, Kyoutani doesn't think the same.

There's a heavy silence as they walk, and Yahaba can't stop turning Kyoutani's words over in his mind, and he can't stop the way they hurt. It's turned into anger by the time they get to his apartment and he opens the door, leaving it open for Kyoutani without a backwards glance, toeing out of his shoes and turning the kettle on before going to his room.

"What's your problem?" Kyoutani mutters, putting his bag down by Yahaba's door. 

Yahaba doesn't reply, pulling his books out, then getting up to walk to the kitchen once he hears the kettle stop. He makes tea for them both, carrying the mugs into his room and putting them on the low table. Kyoutani has his notes out, but he's watching Yahaba with narrowed eyes.

"What?" Yahaba snaps.

"You tell me," Kyoutani replies. "Are you pissed at me because I'm right?"

"What makes you think you're right about anything?" Yahaba scowls. This has nothing to do with Himura, and everything to do with _them_ , and Yahaba knows it. "Why the hell would I want to date someone else—"

"What? Just because we like making out? Because we like each other?" Kyoutani snorts. "I'm not an idiot, okay? I know you're not going to date me. You care way too much about what people think. Can't have me screwing that up for you."

"I'm not that shallow," Yahaba says softly. 

"I know that," Kyoutani mutters. "But you like pretending to be, don't you? You put so much effort into the way you talk, the way you _move_. I don't expect you to change that, okay? I'm not asking you to. Get a girlfriend. Keep pretending to be the person you want people to think you are. I'm not going to stop you."

"And you're not going to care?" Yahaba asks.

"I didn't say that, did I?" Kyoutani looks down at his books. "Anyway, I still don't get titration. Help." 

With a sigh, Yahaba lets the change of topic slide and opens his chemistry textbook. "I've explained it to you three times already."

"Well, maybe you're just terrible at explaining things," Kyoutani replies, and Yahaba knows that the grin he gets is false, but lets himself pretend otherwise anyway. 

They don't talk about their relationship, or lack thereof, for the rest of the afternoon, and they don't kiss either. Yahaba wants to, as Kyoutani is leaving. He wants to pull Kyoutani close, he wants the assurance that everything between them is fine, but the problem is that he knows it's not. 

Kyoutani clears his throat when he's finished putting his shoes on, and doesn't quite meet Yahaba's eyes. "Thanks for the help. I still don't get titration." 

"Yeah you do," Yahaba mutters, shoving Kyoutani gently. "You finished the last calculation faster than I did." 

Kyoutani automatically reaches for Yahaba's wrist, but he freezes up once he's holding onto it. He lets go, clearing his throat louder this time. "Uh. I'll see you tomorrow at school." 

"Yeah," Yahaba replies, leaning against the doorway and watching Kyoutani leave. It feels immeasurably worse than watching Himura walk away. 

Yahaba is exhausted the next morning, because he hasn't stopped replaying their conversation in his head. At practice, Kyoutani's serves are particularly violent, but he's no different to normal when he speaks to Yahaba, or anyone else. 

Perhaps it's just because Yahaba knows him so well, but the anger simmering just beneath the surface feels so obvious. It makes Yahaba angry in return, because this is Kyoutani's fault in the first place. He's the one who started it, by saying what he did. Yahaba wishes he hadn't, because he still can't stop thinking about it. He doesn't let it show, because he needs to focus on being the captain right now, and the rest of the team doesn't need to see this anyway. 

When he goes to homeroom after practice, Himura gives him a small smile that he returns. He could walk over to her and ask her out on a date right now, before the rest of their class arrives, but he knows it's not fair on her, knows that she'll turn him down knowing that he doesn't mean it. Most importantly, he knows that he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to date Himura, or any other girl at their school. He sighs quietly, sitting down at his desk and rubbing his hand over his face as he tries not to think too hard about what that means.

He doesn't see Kyoutani in between classes, or during their breaks, but he looks just as angry at afternoon practice. It's not in his expression, or even in his voice. It's there in the set of his shoulders, the line of his back, and of course Yahaba can see the tension there. He's felt it for himself, beneath his hands when he kisses Kyoutani in a way he particularly likes, feeling him tense up with surprise before moaning softly.

Yahaba is so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn't even realise he's reaching out to place his hand against Kyoutani's back until he's already done it. Kyoutani goes still, and Yahaba doesn't pull his hand away, leaning in and lowering his voice instead.

"We're practicing together today." 

Kyoutani grunts in acknowledgement, letting Yahaba lead the way to one of the courts. 

Their rhythm's off today, and Yahaba knows it before he even tosses a ball in Kyoutani's direction. It's frustrating, but Yahaba does his best to stay calm about it because he knows that getting irritated won't help. Still, by the time practice is over, Kyoutani is the first to leave the gym to get changed, having done his part to pack away. Yahaba watches him leave, still mopping the floor with the first years, and hides his disappointment at the fact that by the time he gets to the club room, Kyoutani is already gone. 

He walks home by himself, trying to think of an excuse to speak to Kyoutani in private when they're at school tomorrow. He has a lot that he wants to say, but he can't with other people around, and if Kyoutani's going to avoid him, that's only going to make things even more difficult.

He's about to turn down the street when he freezes in his tracks. Kyoutani is leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest. He doesn't live in this direction. 

"It's Thursday," Kyoutani mutters, when Yahaba stares at him in surprise. "You're bad at calculus. Are we studying?" 

"Yeah, well, you suck at our entire biochemistry unit," Yahaba retorts, to hide his relief. "Let's go." 

They walk beside each other today, which is an improvement on yesterday, even if they're still not talking. Yahaba lets Kyoutani into his apartment and starts the kettle boiling, just as always. Kyoutani follows the routine, sitting at the low table in Yahaba's room, pulling his mathematics textbook out, along with his notes. Yahaba makes them tea and brings it in, sitting down. 

"I want to ask you something," Yahaba says, breaking the silence. 

"About calculus?" Kyoutani asks, deliberately being difficult, and Yahaba resists the urge to roll his eyes.

"Would you date me?" Yahaba asks, and Kyoutani blinks at him with surprise. 

"What?"

"Would you?" Yahaba presses.

"I thought we went over this yesterday," Kyoutani sighs. "I wouldn't do that to you."

"What if I asked you to?" Yahaba tightens his grip on his mug of tea. "What if I _wanted_ to date you?"

Kyoutani frowns, shoulders hunching. "Don't fuck with me, Yahaba. It's all just hypothetical in the end, isn't it? You're not going to date me."

Sighing, Yahaba lets his shoulders slump. "I want to. I wish I could. I don't want to date people who aren't you, okay? I could, if I wanted to, but I don't." 

Leaning back and propping himself up with a hand, Kyoutani watches Yahaba carefully. "You've thought about this."

"For the past twenty four hours," Yahaba admits. "I haven't thought about much else. I like you, Kyoutani. That's not even news at this point, you know I do. I know you like me."

"You've spent the last few years building this image of yourself," Kyoutani tells him. "If you want to let it go, then fine. But I'm not going to make you do that for me, understood? You don't have to tell the world that you're dating me, or that you like me, or even that you like guys. I don't care if anyone else knows. We can keep this quiet. It isn't really anyone else's business anyway." 

Yahaba can't help the relieved sigh that he lets out, and this time the grin tugging at Kyoutani's lips is genuine. 

"Everything's such a giant production for you," Kyoutani mutters, but he sounds fond. He kneels up, leaning across the table and stroking his fingers through Yahaba's hair, pushing it back out of his face. "I don't even know why I like you."

"That's a shitty thing to say to your boyfriend," Yahaba scolds lightly, their noses brushing against each other.

"You haven't asked me out yet," Kyoutani says against Yahaba's lips. 

Yahaba kisses him, pulling back with a smile. "Date me." 

Kyoutani laughs softly, humming in agreement as he pulls Yahaba into another kiss. 

They don't even touch their work for the rest of the evening, and Yahaba still doesn't really get calculus. Luckily for him, though, his boyfriend's pretty good at it.


End file.
